Kindness Counts
What small actions can you take to add more kindness to your corner of the world?
As we move through another season of holidays, I recently had an encounter that reminded me about the importance of kindness. We celebrate Christmas in my household, and I was recently successful in my campaign to convince my fiancé to decorate before Thanksgiving since we can always use more joy in our lives.
If you aren’t familiar, Michaels is a retail chain in North America that is known for being the equivalent of a candy store for almost any art/creative project you can imagine. It also contains an abundance of decorative items for any of your holiday needs. After coming to my senses and realizing I went overboard this year, I visited my local store for some returns. Immediately upon entering the store and without even saying a word, an associate rudely informed that the computer system was just starting to come online after an outage and followed it with, “So YOU are just going to have to wait.” Yikes.
In that moment, I was on the verge of unleashing some sharp words because of her poor customer service, but instead paused because this certainly had to be an overreaction that had nothing to do with me. Was that easy to do? Admittedly no, it would have been much quicker to return her attitude in spades. That would have also been a lose-lose situation, so instead, I agreed to wait even though I was running short on time before having to head to an appointment.
“You may never know what someone is going through, but if you notice any signs of pain—hostility, negativity, or oversensitivity—then odds are, you know how they feel. Respond to the pain instead of judging the signs.” -Lori Deschene
When it became time for her to assist me, I continued my masterclass in patience and allowed her to express whatever she felt she needed to while letting it all roll off instead of taking it personally. As she continued barking back at me, I remained calm, smiled, and even cracked some jokes to try to lighten the mood. At the end of this challenging interaction, I wished her a wonderful day, which caught her off guard before she wished me the same and said she hoped I enjoyed the rare winter sun in Portland. What a difference.
The moral of this story is that you never know what someone else is going through. The holidays can be difficult for many different reasons, including grief and challenging family dynamics. Working in customer service can be difficult. Some days even just existing in this world can be difficult.
In this example, I chose empathy and kindness over anger and attitude. I treated this woman as I wish she had treated me. I offered her the same grace that others have shown me in moments when I don’t show up as my best self either. I stayed true to myself and my values. And in the end, I left that interaction feeling more at peace. I’d like to think she did too.
What small actions can you take to add more kindness to your corner of the world? Whatever you choose, remember it matters.
This is truly what is meant by sharing kindness! Thank you for writing about this experience and giving us all an example of how to be in the world. Think of how much peace there would be in the world if we all offered each other this grace. Including offering it to ourselves.